Ximena
As tears run down my face, I can’t help but wonder how in the world I got so lucky. For the longest time I have been thinking on writing this testimonial for Sirens for Survivors. I wanted to say so many things that often I started drafts in my head. I thought I would wait to write it until I had the final product in my hands. But life not always goes as expected, a lesson that I know all too well.

The photo shoot with Rachel was one of the highlights of my year, and I have had an amazing year. I was declared cancer free in February. Last year, I separated from my husband and one month later I was diagnosed with cancer. I did everything by the books: I attended all my appointments, I got any imaginable test done, I ate super-healthy, I did not stress, etc.  I had a bilateral mastectomy, 4 months of chemotherapy and 2 months of daily radiation. I had a very aggressive type of cancer, invasive. It had gone from my breast to the lymph nodes under my right arm. They removed them as well. Early this year my latest scans showed no signs of cancer. I am thrilled!

This summer I was chosen to be a siren. I was ecstatic, seriously, ecstatic. I had been following Rachel’s work and receiving emails from Sean with updates for a long time. It was truly a dream come true. I had my reconstruction surgery in August and the photo shoot in September. I cannot describe how fun it was! Feeling the anticipation building, going shopping, choosing outfits, consulting what to bring to the session with my friend, everything- I mean everything was fun. But nothing compares to the pure joy of working with Rachel.

What an amazing atmosphere! She has a beautiful vibe and a gigantic personality. I was so nervous while Lindsey did my make-up, which by the way was perfect. But the moment I stepped into Rachel’s territory was like being in another world. She is funny, caring, and respectful. I felt incredibly good. She is no kidding when she says this experience is empowering. Really, anything I say would not be enough.

Rachel is made out of talent. I could not stop watching my gallery. Every picture was great. I look happy as a kid, beautiful as a woman, and as complete as I ever had. But what it surprised me the most was my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I looked great, but my eyes made me feel like I was really alive. What an incredible feeling!

A couple of days before receiving my gallery, I noticed a pinhole opening in one of my scars.  An infection had developed in my right breast. We tried antibiotics. I saw my surgeon almost daily.  The infection would not clear. Apparently the radiation damages the tissue greatly and it is very hard to heal. It is hard to beat bacteria. The doctor had to remove my right implant.

Life is full of surprises and it is amazing to me how things happen just in time when they are needed. Rachel’s Sirens for Survivors program is an unselfish act of kindness. I don’t think she realizes how far her actions go. The impact her pictures have on me is beyond words. I just need to keep reminding me how beautiful and happy Rachel showed me I am. It gives me the force I need to keep going through a journey that I never imagine. I just need to see the light in my eyes to see my strength.

See, cancer had given me so much that I would not change a thing about my situation. I am a better mom, sister, daughter, and friend. I do not worry for little things anymore. I try new things all the time. I live my life to the fullest. I even fell in love again. But most of all, having cancer had made me believe again in the good in people. We all know people around us care for us and love us. I had a unique opportunity to confirm it. I am loved. I am alive. I had a session with Rachel and I look awesome! I will always be grateful to you, Rachel. It was an honor to become a Siren. 

Tricia

 As a child I read lots of fairy tales….even then I was a bit skeptical about Snow White, Cinderella,Sleeping Beauty and their happy endings!   Fast forward to the year 2003..I was newly married (2nd time), mother of two great kids, 19 and 21. I had finally settled into my own little “storybook” world.  Then the “diagnosis” came crashing in!
Diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 40, I was truly afraid my life was over. Little did I know that it was just the beginning! I was terrified mostly for my children. I wanted so badly to see them become adults, marry, and have children of their own. So began the deconstructing and reconstructing of Tricia. I was hopeful that was the end of my cancer experience and hoped to hold on to at least one of my natural breasts. Then the following year the other breast started looking suspicious, so more surgeries to put me back together again. I started feeling like Humpty Dumpty! In spite of these life lessons/experiences, breast cancer gave me the push I needed to start really living my life. I've stopped worrying so much about my imperfections and started appreciating each day. I've learned how to scuba dive, started taking much better care of myself, and much, much more! I tell people constantly, get out there, start living those dreams and make each day count!  Make a difference in someone else's life and make them remember you for the right reasons!  Write your own story, leave a legacy of love! 
I hadn’t ever had a professional photograph taken of myself that I truly liked. In fact, I don’t usually photograph well at all.  And I knew it would definitely take a special photographer to "hide" all these scars if I was ever going to expose myself for the camera.  But I’ve "found my

smile" in the last few years and I allow people to photograph me for the sake of my family. If the cancer should return and I'm not so fortunate this time, I wanted them to have good memories of me and be proud to show photos of their mom/grandmother.  To say “she was a fighter, she knew how to live and I admire her for that!”  I’ve started living my life as an example of no excuses, no self induced limitations on what life can be and no more self-loathing because I'm not perfect!  
After seeing an ad for Rachel Stephens Photography on Facebook I was blown away by her very tasteful, beautiful,and empowering, photography of “regular” women. I knew if I was going to have a photograph taken of myself at this point in my life, she would have to be “the one” .  Then I read about her Sirens for Survivors program. I knew I definitely had more of a connection with her, even if she didn’t choose me for the program. So I decided to take another chance, I shared my very personal experience with Rachel. I emailed my story and she wrote back that she had chosen me for the Honolulu shoot!  I was elated! I cried, stressed about what to wear (or not to wear) and decided that this was another one of those defining moments that I would not let pass me by. A once in a life time opportunity!  I wanted to show other women that might be afraid to have that mammogram or biopsy, or even mastectomy, that it can be okay! In fact it can be life changing in a positive way! I wanted to look that good in spite of the imperfections and all the scars, internal and external! I finally like/love who I am.
I was ready to show off that beautiful, smarter, me that survived the hellish breast cancer monster! So, on the eve of my 47th birthday, I bared my soul and bared my scarred body for a generous, gracious, and beautiful, fairy god-sister! Rachel you and your work are simply amazing! I can never thank you enough for this gift.  It’s like finding the wizard at the end of a very interesting road and she’s got a camera to capture that moment in time!
 
Much love and so much admiration!

p.s.“Being a part of a sirens session is a bit like the disease process itself….before: terrified and intimidated, after: stronger, wiser, glad for the opportunity to learn and pleasantly surprised at the beautiful result!”

I found my lump at the age of 33, just before my baby turned one year old and shortly after my older daughter turned 13. Luckily, the doctors took everything seriously and within a few short weeks I had my first of five surgeries: right breast mastectomy. The order goes like this – right breast mastectomy, chemo, radiation, left breast mastectomy, oopherectomy, surgical menopause, tissue expanders, reconstruction and all the fun stuff in between like doctor visits, therapy’s, mri’s, ultrasounds, and biopsy’s. The only thing I have left to finish is my Femara- 5 year pill.
Maybe this sounds weird but it was after the treatment that my life was hard…..It was then that I questioned, “why me?” and it was then that the shock wore off and I had to bounce back to reality. I didn’t know what to do and I kept wondering when that magical moment was going to come when I would spiritually/ physically/ mentally know why this all happened.
Well that hasn’t exactly happened in one specific moment and I think I’ll continue to “recover” from having breast cancer for the rest of my life. But when I heard about Rachel Stephens and her amazing gift of Sirens For Survivors, I was inspired. The experience of writing my essay started a series of events that helped me crawl out of my funk. It was Rachel’s kindness that helped me begin my journey of getting my life back.
When I received the email, I was so happy. I couldn’t believe that I had the privilege to have a professional make over and photo shoot! I got a hair cut, which was the first one since my hair had grown back (since chemo). It’s amazing how a hair cut can make you feel so much better about yourself. Soon after, I got my nipples tattooed. I had been putting it off but I was

inspired and wanted to finish this part of my treatment. They finally looked like real breasts, sorta. The day before the photo shoot, my husband and I reconnected by getting a hotel downtown and had a lovely night. We’ve had to really work to become a couple again. When your roles change to care giver and sick person overnight, it takes a while to switch back to two lovers being “normal”, whatever that is. I want to thank Rachel for that too. It was her generosity that inspired us to make these plans and feel sexy again.
As soon as I walked in the door to experience an afternoon like no other, I felt like a model, a pin up girl and a friend. Rachel and her make up artist greeted me with such a warm welcome and made me feel so comfortable. I felt alive! I laughed more than I’d laughed in a long time! Rachel made me feel at ease and I never once worried about my body. They did their magic and the pictures show their talent. She is an amazing woman and is brilliant at what she does. And quite funny!
Since the photo shoot, I have continued to make changes in my life that together equal huge progress in becoming myself again. I write more about my experiences and have found creative outlets for stress in my life. It makes my heart warm to think that Rachel affects women’s lives every day! Her bigheartedness helps me get through the hard days because I too would like to use my talents to help people grow and see their true selves!

I was 30 years old the day I was told that I had an invasive stage III tumor in my breast. A wife, a mother of a 7-year old, a 2-year old and an 11-month old, I thought I had the perfect life. Then everything changed that afternoon in August 2004. There were so many tests. Then, chemotherapy came, then the surgeries and after that radiation, and more surgery. There were times I felt that I would rather die than go through it one more day. I was sick all the time; I was missing out on so much of my kids daily lives. My husband worked all the time and never talked about what the cancer was doing to us.

In March 2007, I was finally declared cancer free. I was done and there was nothing else left to do. I had been reconstructed and only had to take one medication. In November 2007, my husband, the man I loved, came home from work, took a shower, grabbed some clothes and said he was leaving. Things seemed to go from bad to worse over the next year. I was served divorce papers two days after Christmas by his girlfriend. Everything was so very ugly. My husband and his girlfriend took to name calling, saying I am a freak because of my scars, that I am ugly and that nobody was ever going to want me. I believed them.

One day while on Facebook I spotted Rachel’s grouop, I joined and read about her Sirens for Survivors program. I thought to myself, 'That would be really fun' so I sent her a quick email and told her a bit about my story. I didn’t really think that she would choose me but the next thing I knew I had an appointment for my photos to be taken. The day of my session, while waiting in the lobby of the hotel, I thought I might throw up I was so nervous. I

wondered 'What am I doing?’. I had no one in my life to share these portraits with but decided ‘Oh well, it will be fun!’.

When the session began, I was so shocked because I was so comfortable. I laughed. I had a great time. I felt so sexy, something I haven’t felt in so long. And after my session, when I went home and I was alone, I had myself a good long cry. Not in sadness but because for the first time in years I felt my value. I felt that I was worth more than what I had been told I was. I took back my power. Thank You Rachel you have done more for me than you could ever imagine.

Forty two years ago I was born.  Six years ago I married my friend.  Five years ago my youngest son was born.  Three years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.I remember that day I came home from work
I took off my pants and I took off my shirt
I was feeling fine, never any pain
But to my surprise, my ducts began to rain.The day I was first told that I had cancer; I was taking my oldest son to see his doctor when my physician called me and said “we have the results of your biopsy.”  My initial reaction was one of numbness.  All I could think was, “what’s next?”  I couldn’t cry because I didn’t want my son asking questions that I couldn’t possibly answer.  Therefore, I didn’t say anything.   At that point, all I knew to do was to continue with my plans for the day and be mom, not a cancer victim.Being diagnosed actually turned out to be a blessing.  Going through this storm allowed me to learn more about myself and gave me the strength to endure other storms to come.   I soon realized that it’s up to me to live my best life.  I needed support and love but instead during that time, I received senseless drama and negative energy.   I allowed another human being, to take me to an uncomfortable place of being.  A place where I’d never been and will never go again.I learned about Sirens through a close friend who urged me to submit an essay for the Nashville contest.   I was planning a trip to Nashville and the photo shoot was scheduled during the same weekend.  I was at work when I received the call that I had won.  I had to literally run outside so that I could scream.  I was ecstatic! During the photo shoot I simply escaped to another realm.  When the door closed, I left everything and everybody else outside.   When I saw the proofs, I

cried!  I couldn’t believe it.   This was an awesome experience that gave me another layer of confidence.  Now, I’m saying, “Yes I can, Yes I will, Yes I am…Beautiful.  Rachel, you are phenomenal! Thank you so much.  I am so grateful for this opportunity.  I am honored to be chosen as the first Sirens Survivor!